mc knowledge #1

urban menace 1999

starring:
snoop dogg
ice-t
big pun
fat joe
dir:
albert pyun

ok so here is the plot. some church in the getto gets burned down and all the kids inside die. caleb the preacher (snoop) sees this and
you can just see it in his face that he's out for revenge. evryone knew it was the mob boss crow (big pun) that got the church burnt down
but the cops are obviously on the pay roll so on one gets locked up.
a year later all the pimps, hustlas, hos, ganstas, pushers, jackers, pigs and crackers all start winding up dead. it's like it's some crasy demonised hellish freak is on the loose. well it's accually snoop back to seek vengeance and is jumpng around in all black killing badguys with a kinfe.
crow sends out his best men to get the freak, one of these guys is sort of the main charakter because he has just rated crow out to the cops
in exchange for getting his family out of the hood... bla bla bla all this is fast forward action.
stop when you see fat joe or big pun rewind a bit so you don't miss a second. aah... this is great. first of as you probably figured out none of these two can act whatsoever and the dialogue sounds like they reading it of que cards but trying to freestyle in cool shit to make it more gangsta.
with fat joe you can actually make out what hes saying sometimes but with pun you don't even care what he's trying to say he just makes some wierd noises with his throat that usally stars and ends with a fuck related word. look at him! he looks like pizza the hut from spaceballs but with the melted cheese on the inside. this guys biggest musical hit was i ain't a playa i just fuck alot, he went to fat camp twise lost a hundred pounds both times but got them back as soon as he got back to his barrio. he died in 2000 from aheart attack due to overwight (rip).
the parts with pun and joe are the best parts of the movie there are about three scenes with these two in the movie and the rest is all kinda running around in abandoned warehouses bad action pointless.
almost forgot ice-t exept for narrating (when in doubt use voice over) shows up in the begning and end to give one of his classical freedom of speech repeaters, you know the "do you get offended by words like..."

my verdikt
3/10

out of 72 min only 20 were worth watching.
made me laugh though.